Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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