Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
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