I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
