You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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