Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
