Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Is it because I queefed?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
