lets start a swedish sibling band together
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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