remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
