Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
