"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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