Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I could make wine with my vomit
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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