I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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