did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
