So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
