i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
