i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
