You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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