evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
