Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
