The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
