Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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