Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
it's like heaven, but drunker
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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