Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
lol hangovers are for mortals.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
