I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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