What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
