in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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