is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
