bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
