My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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