: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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