i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
