I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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