I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
