Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
