He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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