I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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