THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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