I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Come share oat with me in your robe
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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