Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
