I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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