Redeem this text for a blowjob
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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