Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
