It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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