worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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