id be glad to
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
