this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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