she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize