ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
