I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
