I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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