so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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