YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
