when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize
