yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
honey bunches of taint.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
