Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
