Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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