nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
