I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize