I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
ugly people sure do ruin things
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
