"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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