If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
