so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize