Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
