I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We have so much sex to catch up on
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
