I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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