just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
